Judgement

Judgement

"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus." ~Mark Twain

How many times do you find yourself in a situation where you want to give advice to someone you care about because you do not agree with the choices they are making. Perhaps you think they are being foolish or maybe it is simply not understanding why a person is the way he or she is.

We have a tendency to judge people by their behaviors or the choices they do or do not make. But when was the last time you walked a mile in their shoes rather than making the call to judge?

Do you know that the kid that is acting a little "crazy" or has odd behaviors actually has a sleep disorder and cannot focus throughout the day so she acts out in ways that are not deemed socially acceptable. Maybe there is something going on that caused him or her to have a bad day. Maybe the child has been bullied so much that his own sense of self-preservation kicks in and his escape method is to act "odd" when around other people.

Do you realize that many children diagnosed with ADHD actually have undiagnosed sleep problems? No, they do not all have bad parents. Why do we rush to judge someone because of the way a family member acts? Why do we assume every parent that has a child having a meltdown in public is a terrible parent or every child having a public meltdown is a spoiled child? It may be as simple as a child on the Autism spectrum on sensory overload while mom or dad desperately tries to finish the day's errands. Or maybe the child has a special needs sibling and one of her coping mechanisms when feeling a little lost or left out is to act out to seek attention. Is it desirable? No. But but it is human.

Maybe you have a friend that is having a rough patch in their marriage. Maybe, instead of judging the spouse, you can simply be a shoulder to cry on and provide love and support to help them through a difficult time. It is far too easy to jump on the bandwagon, bashing a person rather than thinking that we all have our bad moments and maybe that person just needs a little extra love and attention.

On the flip side, why is it assumed that the spouse is a bad spouse or that there are problems in a marriage when one spouse is seen publicly and the other is not. It does not mean a marriage is on the rocks nor does it mean that the spouse out in public is "free game" because his or her spouse must be a terrible person to live with.

All I am trying to say is that we all have our moments and maybe we would get through them faster if we would stop rushing to judgment and encouraging more bad behavior. Offer words of encouragement, love, and support for our fellow family, friends, and acquaintances rather than fueling their fires and jumping to judge and hate. Acceptance has to be the key. Accept differences, accept the person and learn more about them because, if you do, you may discover an amazing person that you cannot imagine your life without!