My Name Is Love

"Fill the cup of happiness for others, and there will be enough overflowing to fill yours to the brim." ~Rose Pastor Stokes

On Saturday, August 27, 2011, I had the blessing of being involved in the 1st Annual Liv to Ride Poker Run and Fun Day to benefit the Liv Life Foundation. For those of you who do not know me, my niece Livia has a terminal disease called Sanfilippo syndrome. Sanfilippo syndrome is a genetic disorder; children with this disorder are missing an enzyme that helps break down sugar proteins in their bodies. The protein builds in tissues and organs and it becomes a neurological disorder. The life expectancy of a child with Sanfilippo Syndrome is 9-20 years. The Liv Life Foundation, http://www.livlife.us/, was founded by my sister-in-law and brother to help raise awareness and research funding for this disease. None of the money goes to my brother and his wife.

So this brings me to my point. Saturday brought out so many people who came together in love and support for Livia and my family. There were many people we saw and some that participated anonymously. There were people from all walks of life and different backgrounds and every one of them was there for a common cause. It does not matter what their names were, in my book they are all called love because each of them cared enough to come together to help us in the fight to save Liv's Life.

I would like to personally thank Bob and Ruth Ann Voight, owners of the 4-Way Saloon in Sidell, IL; the 4-Way Saloon staff members: Dawn, Kathy, and Leesa; the members of the band New Twang City; the Sidney Saloon in Sidney, Wild Willie's in Brocton, Town & Country Tap in Ridge Farm, Julie's in Westville, Under Caution outside of Danville, and The Brunswick in Westville; and Rinda Maddox for writing a story on Livia in The Sidell Reporter. All of these people came together and gave freely of their time for our event and I am forever grateful for the hard work and love you put into making the event a success.

A special thanks to my husband, Tim, who worked very hard pulling some things together and giving a lot of his time in the weeks leading up to the event. I really do appreciate everything you do sweetheart.

For Granted or Gratitude

"When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude." ~Gilbert K. Chesterton

When someone does something for you, do you remember to thank them even if you consider it to be there job? Maybe the job is not a fun job but someone has to do it; do you still thank that person even if you deem the job beneath you?

When you have a friend or family member that always goes out of their way to help you, do you remember to thank him or her? How about the simple fact that a family member is close by, do you think about that person the way you do a person far away. Do you think, wow I really miss him when I do not see him whether he lives two miles away or two hundred?

Do you thank your spouse when he/she does something to help you? You may think that he/she should be helping you but there are a lot of spouses out there that do not ever offer to help.

One of the things I am trying to teach my boys is that they need to be thankful for everything. When the waiter brings your drink (yes it is his job to bring it to you) but thank him or her for doing this. When mom folds your laundry, even though you have to put it away, be thankful that you have clean laundry to put away.

My dad always said to us, "Always make sure those you love know how much you love them and how much they mean to you." This lesson has really hit home over the last ten years when I have lost some really incredible family members and friends. This is another thing I want my boys to realize; just because you plan to or think you will see someone in a couple of days, a week, a month it is not guaranteed.

It is ok to take an hour off of work every now and then to spend extra time with your family. It is good to call a family member more than when you need something; it is easy to call someone you love when you need support but just call because you can. Take the time to have an attitude of gratitude for those people you should be appreciative for instead of taking them for granted. One thing that would make our lives much nicer is if more people thought about what we have to be thankful for more often instead of taking other people for granted.

Defining Someone

Definition of DEFINE
1a : to determine or identify the essential qualities or meaning of b : to discover and set forth the meaning of (as a word) c : to create on a computer
2a : to fix or mark the limits of : demarcate b : to make distinct, clear, or detailed especially in outline
3: characterize, distinguish
~Definition from Merriam-Webster, m-w.com

I love to sing but I cannot be defined as a singer. I have allergies but they do not define me; they may change my world in a way that I have to do some things differently but I am not defined by my allergies. We all have things in our lives that help us become who we are supposed to be.

How many times do we look at someone and put a label on them or define them, maybe we even feel sorry for them. Oh, that person has cancer, or MPS, or asperger's syndrome. We need to look past the condition and see the person. We can help be a part of who that person is or who they will become by the way we treat him or her. More importantly he or she may become a part of who we are and who we become. There are lessons to be learned from these people and these conditions.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last few years is to not judge a person or their children by always assuming that someone has bad parenting skills (I am not saying there are not bad parents out there). However, maybe, just maybe, that parent is dealing with a child with autism who cannot handle another change for the day or a child who is uncomfortable and unable to express his or herself in a way other than to have a meltdown. Should these parents not be allowed to do their shopping or have a meal out with their families? Should we define the child as a bad child with bad behavior whose parents are bad parents?

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb." Psalm 139:13

Should we not acknowledge that God created all of us to be unique individuals and accept each for who they are instead of defining people (and feeling embarrassed, sorry, or ashamed) for someone because of something we define as being a problem?

I challenge you to become someone who no longer seeks to define an individual based on what you see as a deficit and accept them for who they are and during that journey perhaps you will allow them to teach you who you are supposed to be.

One

"Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn't be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life's challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person." ~R. Buckminster Fuller

I have been holding on to this quote just waiting for the right time to use it. Today is that time. I have been waiting for something for a long time; waiting for someone to do the right thing and give me the hope and direction I needed to make a difference for someone very near and dear to my heart. I got that news yesterday and now I have to make a difference.

I  realize my new information may cause a whole new set of problems for me. Regardless, I will use my information to be the one for someone who needs me right now. When I feel down and a little like I have no direction or purpose I am going to remind myself that if it were not for me and my persistence, my dear someone would have been left to fail and be forgotten by all of those who refused to step up and do the right thing. I will fight the battle even though it might be long and hard.

How many times do you know in your heart that something more needed to be done but you felt that you were just one person. I challenge you today. Be the one person that can and will make a difference. You may not see it in your time but you may certainly set the ball rolling to make something right for someone else.

Introspection and Resolution

"Guard within yourself that treasure, kindness,

Know how to give without hesitation,

how to lose without regret, how to acquire

without meanness; know how to replace

in your heart, by the happiness of those you love,

the happiness that may be wanting to yourself."

~George Sand

During the recent holiday season I spent a lot of time thinking about the things I have done that I am proud of and the things I need to change. I really started to take a look at things back in November before Thanksgiving and have made a commitment to myself and others in my life that I will do what I can to live a better life for myself and, in turn, I will make a better life for my family.


This year I have found it very easy to take out my anger and hurt on others closest to me. You see, most of what I need to change has to do with being unforgiving, disrespectful, and rude. I have participated in cutting someone else down for no reason whatsoever. I tend to hurt the people closest to me the most probably because I expect them to forgive me the easiest. A trusted friend once told me that if you see something negative going on (be it gossip, slander, aggression, etc.) and stand idly by you are just as bad if not worse than the person committing the act. So I refuse to be a part of the problem anymore. I vow to make a change to be a better person who is more forgiving and tolerant of others, especially my husband and my children.

I am writing this today - and not last week - because, after spending a lot of time thinking about the shooting deaths in Arizona, I feel it is relevant. This tragedy in Arizona is just a reminder of how intolerance, anger, and hatred have no place in our lives. Sadly, this young man felt he was so right in his belief that he took the lives of the innocent, including a nine-year-old girl (I think it really hits home that this girl is just a year younger than my oldest). I realize what happened is extreme but these feelings of his started somewhere. They started with feeling hurt or upset because he was disappointed by not getting what he wanted or because he was jealous of another person. He felt entitled.

We have all seen this; it is that parent who feels that his children were more entitled to things because they are better than the other kids. Some people feel entitled because of the length of time they spent doing something or how much historical knowledge they had about something; history and time are great but sometimes it is important to make changes. We have seen those that feel better than someone else because we do not drink or smoke, maybe because we live in a better house or because we feel our school is better than yours. These feelings are not healthy. If this is what we teach our children it is wrong. We can teach our children that we believe in them individually and give them the right ideas, courage, faith, and love without cutting someone else down in the process.


What changes can you make today? How can you make your life and the lives around you better and help create an environment full of tolerance and forgiveness. These small changes can cause a ripple effect and, in time, maybe we will start to see more tolerance and forgiveness within our own homes, communities, and beyond.