Lessons Learned

"I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team. I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion." ~Mia Hamm

So many times I think I am going to teach my boys a lesson when they actually end up teaching me a lesson. This year's football season has been rough to say the least. But here is what I learned.

Today I was talking with another parent about what is deemed fair or not. If, for example, Matthew was considered one of the better players on the football team would I even pay attention to other children who were not getting play. I could not honestly answer that question because I have not experienced it. I can say that I have been upset, as have other members of my family, that Matthew has not gotten a lot of playing time. I know of other families that have also been just as upset and maybe even more upset than we have. In all fairness, I also have to say I am very thankful that we have a coaching staff willing to give so much time for our boys because coaching football is not something that Tim and I can commit to doing. I can also say that, while I recognize that my son is not one of the best players on the team, we give as much time and sometimes more than other players on the team (who are playing multiple sports) that get to play 3 and 4 times as much as Matthew does.

Matthew is new to football; this is only his 2nd year. He has a lot to learn about the sport but it seems to be something he wants to do and, for the most part, he really enjoys it. Mostly, I think Matthew may have joined the football team 2 years ago because when we came to the Jamaica school district 3 years ago, he found it difficult to fit in and make new friends. I can completely understand the desire to fit in and make friends when you feel you really do not belong. Maybe joining a sports team is not a way to do that but maybe it is. However, joining football is what he wanted to do. He has learned some really good things but he still has a lot to learn about the sport. He is also slow to "warm up" in the sense that the longer he plays in a game the better he plays. So, for example, by the end of the last game he was in on a tackle and recovered a fumble (but not in his first play on the field).

Here is where Matthew taught me a lesson. Despite very little playing time during this year (one game he only got to play one play), Matthew never complained. When other parents yelled at him as he came off the field because he made a mistake, Matthew never complained. Matthew was content to get on the field when they let him and play his hardest while he was on the field. While I felt grumbly and hurt for my child who should have gotten more playing time, Matthew was content to be a part of the team...win or lose (and we lost all but 1 game this season). Matthew NEVER complained and never said anything. He was excited when he played well and graciously accepted praise and complements when he did well but he didn't complain when he didn't play. He never said anything about it until today when he mentioned he might not play next year because he wasn't allowed to play much this year. Even when he said this, it wasn't a complaint; he was just stating a fact to me.

Maybe we should all be more content to be a part of the team and look out and cheer for the others in our life. Matthew, I thank you for your kind and loving heart that even when things are not fair, you still have a forgiving nature and your are not full of anger and frustration. Thank you God for teaching me a lesson through my son.