"Guard within yourself that treasure, kindness,
Know how to give without hesitation,
how to lose without regret, how to acquire
without meanness; know how to replace
in your heart, by the happiness of those you love,
the happiness that may be wanting to yourself."
~George Sand
During the recent holiday season I spent a lot of time thinking about the things I have done that I am proud of and the things I need to change. I really started to take a look at things back in November before Thanksgiving and have made a commitment to myself and others in my life that I will do what I can to live a better life for myself and, in turn, I will make a better life for my family.
This year I have found it very easy to take out my anger and hurt on others closest to me. You see, most of what I need to change has to do with being unforgiving, disrespectful, and rude. I have participated in cutting someone else down for no reason whatsoever. I tend to hurt the people closest to me the most probably because I expect them to forgive me the easiest. A trusted friend once told me that if you see something negative going on (be it gossip, slander, aggression, etc.) and stand idly by you are just as bad if not worse than the person committing the act. So I refuse to be a part of the problem anymore. I vow to make a change to be a better person who is more forgiving and tolerant of others, especially my husband and my children.
I am writing this today - and not last week - because, after spending a lot of time thinking about the shooting deaths in Arizona, I feel it is relevant. This tragedy in Arizona is just a reminder of how intolerance, anger, and hatred have no place in our lives. Sadly, this young man felt he was so right in his belief that he took the lives of the innocent, including a nine-year-old girl (I think it really hits home that this girl is just a year younger than my oldest). I realize what happened is extreme but these feelings of his started somewhere. They started with feeling hurt or upset because he was disappointed by not getting what he wanted or because he was jealous of another person. He felt entitled.
We have all seen this; it is that parent who feels that his children were more entitled to things because they are better than the other kids. Some people feel entitled because of the length of time they spent doing something or how much historical knowledge they had about something; history and time are great but sometimes it is important to make changes. We have seen those that feel better than someone else because we do not drink or smoke, maybe because we live in a better house or because we feel our school is better than yours. These feelings are not healthy. If this is what we teach our children it is wrong. We can teach our children that we believe in them individually and give them the right ideas, courage, faith, and love without cutting someone else down in the process.
What changes can you make today? How can you make your life and the lives around you better and help create an environment full of tolerance and forgiveness. These small changes can cause a ripple effect and, in time, maybe we will start to see more tolerance and forgiveness within our own homes, communities, and beyond.
